So, supposedly an amazing friend wants to help me out.

She is saying that if we renovate, and clean out this trailer on her families farm, that I can live there, (relatively) rent free until New Years.

Only problem is if her parents find out I’m living there on the farm, It’s kind of a liability.

So hmmm.

I think I’m just going to tell her parents my situation, and tell them I want to get back on my feet. Tell them that fixing up the trailer, and living on it with their daughter for a few months was her idea. And that I’m not trying to be a leech, i’m trying to fix up something so I can make a nice place to live for their daughter and I.

This would be a better plan than saying at my Grandmothers, I think.

But I also had a long talk with my Grandma today about when my Aunt and Uncle gave me an ultimatum about me getting a full time job last year, or I had to move out. I was so mad I just found the closest, cheapest room to rent and left.

My Aunt and Uncle told me that if I left I was never coming back there. They turned my old room into their “new” office in about a month and repainted it as soon as I left.

My Grandma today told me that she thought it was absurd for them to give me an ultimatum, because my Uncle and Aunt both lived with their parents rent free, until they were almost 30 years old.

I just want to not have to deal with the ridicule of my Aunt and Uncle about how I can’t make it out on my own, or how I’m not responsible. All that bullshit basically because if I stayed with my Grandmother I’m sure they’d come over all the time and barrage me with questions like they used to.

And I don’t want to deal with that. The thought of even remembering how bad living with them was before, is still freaking me out. It was like I was constantly walking on egg shells, just to make sure they didn’t scream at me about another thing. How I dealt with that from age 16 to 22 I have no idea still.

And that’s not to say they were always bad to me, or are bad to me. They just don’t respect how I choose to live my life. They think I’m a freak, and I’d like them to rather think I’m a “freak,” than have them think I’m “normal.”