Memoirs of a Gas Station Attendant

How...

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 19:21:20 -0400

A person comes in and says,

“I don’t know how much this is going to be on number four. I’ll give you fifty dollars.”

“Ok,” I say, “You know you can always come in for change right? You don’t have to have the amount exact. I have to give you the money back if you don’t pump the gas.”

“I don’t know how much it’s going to be.”

I slam my head against the counter.

Scheduling Issues

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 16:41:03 -0400

This is so funny

Now that so many people have found part time jobs as well as working at the gas station

There’s no one to take the daytime person’s hours.

She was pretty upset and said she might quit.

I am trying to cover her hours, but working so many jobs has me like double booked.

Basically I’ll change my availability for more hours/money.

But she needs the money too.

And we’ve both had to deal with pay/hour cuts because of our bosses being jerks and claiming that they’re paying us too much.

This is an interesting experience because we’re a somewhat collective workplace that makes our own decisions and schedules.

I don’t think we need an authority in here MAKING someone work or not work.

But hiring someone simply to work a couple of hours for two days would be so silly.

Maybe I’ll just ask a friend on facebook or something if they want a few extra bucks?

My Days Off/Mornings Off

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 12:42:44 -0400

I do all the shit I can’t do because I work so much

Like clean my room

Play guitar for a hot minute

Request Off for Work

And help my grandmother do things

I miss lazy mornings

Drinking coffee

Waking up slow

And taking care of myself.

Oh and I need to send in this jury duty stuff. It’s way overdue. O.O

I'm Batman.

Thu, 13 Jun 2013 22:49:40 -0400

Tonight the cashier turns to me

“You’re really nice to everyone that comes in here, you know so much about the products, and you’re genuinely excited. I admire you, how do you do it?”

I say,
“I write a blog about how much I fucking hate everyone in all the jobs that I work.”

She thought I was kidding.

Coconut Customer

Thu, 13 Jun 2013 22:46:21 -0400

Me: Hey, you're getting young thai coconuts! You're the only other person I've ever seen get these besides me!
Her: They're my favorite! It's such a treat
Me: Yeah!
Her: And you get a discount here. You're mother must love you for that!
Me: Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm
*later in the conversation*
Her: Do you have a girlfriend? You're such a nice guy!
Me: Ummmmmmmmmmm
*customer pays and leaves. The other cashier turns to me*
Cashier: She was asking you some pretty personal questions
Me: How do I tell her that my mom's dead and I'm gay? haha

Tumblr Kids

Thu, 13 Jun 2013 12:48:26 -0400

It’s the summer so all the kids are home from college

And the grocery store where I work, all the peoples kids are there too.

They always come by with their faces connected to their iPhones and it always makes me laugh.

A lot of them will sit there, and watch me as I bag their parents four hundred dollar grocery orders.

Their parents watch too.

The other day some kid said something like,

“Omg this food is gonna look so good i’m gonna have to post it on Tumblr….”

I said,

“Oh you have a tumblr? What’s it about?… wait… don’t tell me it’s mostly Dr. Who related?”

“Well,” they said, “It is! But I post other stuff too!”

Now, of course I just started watching Dr. Who…

Soon the Dr. Who virus will turn my blog into a fan blog.

Closing Early Sucks

Wed, 12 Jun 2013 22:16:50 -0400

Now that my boss makes me close at like 10pm instead of 11pm.

It sucks because all the people who used to come in from ten to eleven come in at 9:45.

I don’t want to cash a thousand lottery tickets

I’m trying to go home!

Leave me alone!

Yay! New Header Image!

Wed, 12 Jun 2013 20:14:37 -0400

Tumblr decided it was going to update things and deleted my header image.

So, I just made the most badass header image ever.

Come check it out.

Folded Bills

Wed, 12 Jun 2013 16:40:14 -0400

Today, I get into the gas station;

And a kid who’s probably like 19 gives me a folded up 20 dollar bill.

Not in half but like in quarters, and it’s all creased up. Not to mention, the creases weren’t even at all.

I just said to him,

“Hey. I’m not trying to be an asshole here. But I’m just curious have you ever worked retail before?”

He goes,
“Yeah I worked for 2 years as a cashier.”

I’m a little shocked haha. But I quickly retorted with

“Have you ever had a customer give you dollar bills that were all folded up?”

And he replies,
“Actually, No, I don’t remember that ever happening.”

And I said,
“It’s a little frustrating. What if I handed you your 11.95 like this?”

I fold the bills up into quarter sections and crease them.

“Would you be cool with me handing you your change like that?”

“Oh. I get what you mean now…”

today I learned at work that apparently cut-offs are not appropriate attire.

Tue, 11 Jun 2013 21:08:49 -0400

today I learned at work that apparently cut-offs are not appropriate attire.

Tornado Watch!

Mon, 10 Jun 2013 17:43:28 -0400

And i’m working at the gas station. Hopefully it doesn’t get too insane out there.

I decided I’d use some of my skills learned at art school.

Mon, 10 Jun 2013 17:42:13 -0400

I decided I’d use some of my skills learned at art school.

Unhinging my Jaw to eat cantaloupe NBD.

Sun, 09 Jun 2013 13:00:00 -0400

Unhinging my Jaw to eat cantaloupe NBD.

There's a special place in hell..

Wed, 05 Jun 2013 17:12:32 -0400

For a customer who gets three or four different items separately.

So, I have to go into the register over and over and over again…

Photo

Mon, 03 Jun 2013 16:00:54 -0400

Chatting with Other Gas Station Attendants

Sun, 02 Jun 2013 15:40:34 -0400

I just had a conversation with two guys who own a convenience store like 30 miles away.

They were just shocked that a gas station like mine actually exists

They asked so many questions.

I have no idea why. I think they were doing personal research or something?

They told me they don’t like it in the big city, and that things seem a lot more relaxed around here.

They asked if there was Dunkin Donuts or Subway anywhere near here

And I said,

“No… not really.”

They were SOOO SURPRISED.

I told them there’s a state park near here and the township tries to make sure that land doesn’t get very developed, so it matches with the park.

It makes me glad that I grew up and live in a town like that.

When I find a spare piece of glitter on me...

Sun, 02 Jun 2013 13:38:01 -0400

I know it’s from my partner ;3

And that pleases me.

Sometimes I Wonder?

Sun, 02 Jun 2013 11:53:01 -0400

Do I smell?

Or do customers just wear WAY WAY WAY WAY WAYYYYY

Too much perfume or cologne?

Seriously, if it lingers in the store for after five minutes after you leave

You’re wearing way too much.

A Superstitious Lottery Customer

Sun, 02 Jun 2013 09:28:49 -0400

Customer: What is your favorite three digit number? (implying that he is going to play them)
Me: Six, Six, Six.
Customer: Are you kidding?
Me: Nope.
Customer: Alright, give me 666 straight for fifty cents, day and night, six times.
Me: Wait, REALLY?

Apparently I have Jury Duty?

Sat, 01 Jun 2013 12:45:50 -0400

I wonder if I told them I don’t believe in prisions if they’d kick me out?